


Hand In Hand. Always

by Trololololoz (SillyWriterKidz)



Category: 3 Below, 3Below, Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons), Trollhunters - Daniel Kraus & Guillermo del Toro
Genre: Boys Kissing, Broken Promises, Child Abuse, Implied Child Abuse, M/M, Past Relationships, characters exploring their identities, curious boys, it's mostly from seamus' pov, steve and seamus is a past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:21:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24064993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SillyWriterKidz/pseuds/Trololololoz
Summary: Seamus Johnson had one friend since childhood but you wouldn't know that if you saw them now. He thinks about the past and what could have been had their lives been different.
Relationships: Seamus Johnson & Steve Palchuck, Seamus Johnson/Krel Tarron, Seamus Johnson/Steve Palchuk, Steve Palchuk/Aja Tarron
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	Hand In Hand. Always

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AkozuHeiwa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkozuHeiwa/gifts).



> Inspired by AkozuHeiwa's fic Wizards: The Ones Who Stayed where it's mentioned Steve and Seamus were childhood friends.  
> That and the au we kinda work on with aliens

Seamus Johnson was never one to draw attention to himself. Always raised his hand and waited for the teacher to call on him, the one to pass the ball to someone who would make the winning shot,always the one to just exist around others. Not a leader, not too much of a follower, more like someone who knew when to act and when not to act. He was calculating and smart but people were something he just didn’t get. Mostly because his asshole of a father never bothered to teach him how to. Always told him it wasn’t necessary, that they were below him. 

All except one. 

Steven Q. Palchuk. 

What does the Q stand for? Seamus doesn’t know and Steve changed the answer every time he asked. Steve was strange like that. He was a very strange kid, very extroverted. His father and Steve’s father were ‘Friends (the term is loosely used, more like acquaintances) so their sons had to be friends. 

They were real friends though, at least… For a while. 

Steve always dragged Seamus on every plan he had. Exploring the forest, the creeks, the buildings, the town, the school, everything. Steve held Seamus’ hand all the way through it, never letting go as he would say, ‘I’m scared I’ll lose ya.’ It was later Steve confessed that he never wanted to let go of Seamus’ hand. The times he had to when he had to go back home were the worst. It meant he wasn’t safe anymore, he couldn’t be happy. Home wasn’t happy. 

Seamus confessed he felt the same way too. 

Being with Steve always made the day seem brighter, even when it was storming outside and the sky was dark as night at 12 in the afternoon. Steve was like a mini sun that made Seamus’ bleak life brighter. Steve always had new ideas, new thoughts, new plans, and games for them to do and play. Sometimes they were pirates, other times knights, and always together. So close, their fathers never paid them much attention, just happy their kids were both out of their hair and so close. It meant good relations. It was obvious Steve wasn’t smart and that Seamus wasn’t the most athletically inclined (he was but not like Steve) so they balanced each other. A way to ensure both of their sons turned out successful. 

They never paid close attention. The boys grew up together. Always close, always hand in hand. Steve tried to be like what his father told him, if a kid bumped into him he would shout at them back. Always strange insults and weird phrases, like he was mimicking the TV but in his own way. Seamus didn’t think much of it because he was told this is how it works. Still, if anyone did try to mess with Steve, Seamus was always right there for him, ready to fight. 

Still hand in hand. 

Hand in hand.

Hand on top of hand when playing a video game together and Steve leaned in just a bit too close cause he was tired since his dad yelled at him all last night. Seamus always felt his stomach twist at that. He hated how Steve’s dad treated him, how his dad treated Seamus himself. He would dream of Steve and him running off together, hand in hand. Finding a little cottage or apartment somewhere and living together. Hand in hand. Away from their parents, away from this town, away from all the stress of grades and sports and championships and always having to prove themselves. They wouldn’t have to prove themselves to each other. 

Seamus knew who Steve was. Steve knew who Seamus was. 

Hand on top of hand and eyes looking in the other’s eyes. They were only 11. Still young, still curious, old enough to be curious. They wanted to explore, to understand. They wanted to know of love and affection as they saw on TV since they never saw it in real life. Kids at their school had dates, were dating, had partners. Seamus never thought of anyone like that. Why would he need anyone else when he already had Steve? Steve was scared to even try. Seamus was the only one who could handle his weirdness, his stupidity as his dad would say. Seamus was nice and listened to him, actually listened to him. Why would they need anyone else?

Hands entwined and two faces leaning closer. 

Couples kissed, they always kissed. On TV, in real life (though they never saw their own parents do it) and in books. They were curious and innocent. Nothing deeper than just wanting to know what it felt like. Nothing more than the fact they both felt so safe and secure with each other. It was just a childlike innocent curiosity about what they liked. No one would tell them. Sue both fathers said they’ll find a good wife and have kids but did they like girls? Seamus never felt comfortable around them or felt anything like it. Steve didn’t know how to act around them and they called him weird. 

Lips barely touching. 

It was weird and strange. They both have kissed other family members. Cheek kisses and little pecks. They knew the pressure of something against their lips but this was different. There was a strange sort of oddity in it not being a family member. Their lips pressed a little more, neither knowing how to kiss and going off what they saw from TV. Steve was the one who would press closer to Seamus. His body leaning closer to the other. Seamus brought his other hand up to take Steve’s other hand as well. Both hands touching

Steve and Seamus, hand in hand. Always. 

While it was nothing special or more than just lips touching lips it felt… Exhilarating. Something all their own. Something that was just Steve and Seamus. They didn’t have to do anything or look for anyone else. Just them against the world. IT was perfect, it was wonderful. Their hands held each other so tightly and so close. Their foreheads touching as they smiled because they were together and not alone. 

Then the door opens. Their dads looking at them. Seamus’ dad had his jaw agape while Steve’s dad’s jaw was set in a sneer. Seamus could feel Steve’s whole body freeze, his hands still holding his but tighter. As if, if he let go Steve would vanish and Seamus would be alone. They held their hands so tight. Something their fathers had ignored, the hand in hand holding. If they let go everything would be gone, both boys somehow knew that if they let go of the other’s hand then they would never be able to hold it again. Everything would end. 

Steve’s father grabbed him by the other arm and pulled so hard Seamus swore he heard a pop. It would haunt him in his dreams the sound of the pop and Steve screaming in pain. Seamus’ mom just standing by and not trying to do anything to stop it. Steve’s mom shouting and trying to pull Steve’s father back but Seamus’ mom held her at bay. If Seamus let go Steve would be gone from his life and he would be cold. He knew that’s what would happen. But… 

Steve’s screaming, his crying. Seamus hated seeing Steve like this. He had too. He had too.

He let go. 

Steve flung into his dad’s arms who was still shouting. Usually, that would make Steve cry but not this time. Instead the boy stared directly at Seamus with wide, disbelieving eyes. He couldn’t believe Seamus let go, that Seamus would release him into his father’s grasp. It was a betrayal. To Steve, it meant he had  _ no one _ that he could trust. No one would ever love him as Seamus did. Would ever be with him like Seamus was, or know him as Seamus did. It felt like a string that kept them bound was torn to shreds, nothing keeping them together now. Steve realized that there was nothing to stop his father now and no reason not to be what his father wanted. Seamus was the only person who knew Steve, the real Steve. 

And even he didn’t want him. 

Seamus didn’t see Steve the next day, or the next week. IT was a month before he came back. School had just started and Steve had a whole new wardrobe. Gone were the baggy t-shirts and shorts. Strict polos and khakis, his hair gelled in place, and his eyes holding nothing but a soft sense of loneliness. Seamus was too scared to even try to talk to Steve. Steve had always been the instigator, the leader. Seamus followed. Now he didn’t have that. 

They’re 16 when they work together again. Well, they started at 15 but it was awkward. Steve didn’t even acknowledge anything in their past and Seamus was too much of a coward to bring it up. 

Then Steve got with Aja. Steve could tell he was trying too hard, that it was still with that same childlike innocence they had so long ago. She would be someone his dad would like, not Seamus. 

Seamus met Krel. Krel is someone Steve considers a little brother. 

They want to date but Steve is violently against it. Krel doesn’t understand why and Seamus is too scared to say anything. Steve calls him names, shouts at him, words with venom that hit right into Seamus’ heart but he deserves it. Steve is crying now and Krel is so very confused and trying to calm him down. Steve is broken. 

IT’s later that night. 

Seamus goes to Steve’s house. Coach and Steve’s mom are gone. They’re alone again. Hands accidentally touch and for a moment they’re kids again. Hand in Hand. Always. 

Feelings stir, unsure if they are real or not, or if they’re just friends. Steve isn’t sure if he’s still with Aja or not since she left so abruptly. Seamus is in favor of Krel. They both don’t try it but at least they can stand being around the other. Seamus dates Krel. Steve and Aja talk through things. 

Still both wonder at night, just ever so often, what if they hadn’t been caught. What if they had kept it a secret? Would they have been able to handle it? Would they have stayed together? Seamus holds his hand close to his chest, almost remembering what it was like when Steve held it so long ago. The thought of them holding hands in school and not being as bad as they were. Seamus helping Steve with school work, praising him with kisses. 

Steve thought about how if he was scared at night he could have someone there who wouldn’t berate him for being a coward. Seamus would just give a sigh and smile fondly at him. They would cuddle like at those sleepovers they had as kids. Steve could hide in Seamus’ chest and be safe from the world. It would be soft, gentle, just them against the world. 

But that’s not reality. That’ not what they’ll get. It’ not just them against the world. Now they had other friends, friends who didn’t know the real them, not really. Would they ever? Steve hoped they wouldn’t and Seamus hoped they would. It hurt to think about the what if but sometimes it was all that kept them going. Most mornings Steve wouldn’t want to wake up from the dream, knowing it wasn’t real. Seamus would always give a wistful look at Steve when he wasn’t looking. 

They were hand in hand, always. But always never lasts and it ended back then when their fathers tore them apart. When Seamus wasn’t strong enough to hold onto Steve and Steve wasn’t able to speak his mind. They’re both still like that, unable to stand up for themselves in the ways they should. Maybe one day they could be like that.

One day, they could be hand in hand, always. Just like before. 


End file.
